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Counting sheep

Thoughts like black tar seep through the cracks in my eyelids

Slide down my burning cheeks

The skin peels back and I am bare and burning.

In the light...

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Count my blessings

Then at night

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Number the ways I can torture myself

These dark thoughts too embarrassing to share

Must keep up the exterior

I’m so smart.

Damn you, I’m so damn smart.

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My brain churns and seeks the open nightmares in the void

A void that is never ending as long as I never let it end.

So easy to slip in the sticky slime

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Count the steps endured in the sludge

Look up at the pinprick of light

An oncoming rush of sickly weighted fire.

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Emptiness – the refuge in the blackness.

Until the weight lifts and the tar loses its hold...?

I have not the strength to lift even a little finger on it’s own.

So easy – look up – eyes eaten out by the horde.

No control.

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